Written By God’s Fingers
“Every man’s life is a fairy tale, written by God’s fingers.”
–Hans Christian Andersen (Danish Author, 1805-1875)
The Horse, The Farmer and Silver Linings
I was talking to someone who has recently had a series of apparent mishaps in his life. And yet every one of them has so far turned out to have a silver lining,
I made the point to him that if we do indeed live in a meaningful, purposeful Universe, then we also have to accept that we cannot always see the reasons why thing happen. Certainly some things may happen “by chance,” but most events that involve conscious thought cannot be explained away as “chance” or “coincidence.”
It reminded me of a story that has been told and retold around the world in different forms since the dawning of time. I like this version from China:
“There was a wise old farmer whose horse ran away. All the neighbors came to commiserate and say, “That’s bad.”
But the farmer said, “Perhaps.”
Then the next day, the horse came back with a whole herd of wild horses, and the neighbors all said, “That’s good.”
And the old farmer said, “Perhaps.”
The very next day the farmer’s son broke his leg trying to tame one of the wild horses and the neighbors said, “That’s bad.”
And the old farmer said, “Perhaps.”
Just after the son broke his leg, the army came through and drafted all the young men and took them off to war. But they left the farmer’s son because his leg was broken.
All the neighbors said, “That’s good” to which the wise old farmer simply said, “Perhaps.”
“But there is suffering in life, and there are defeats. No one can avoid them. But it’s better to lose some of the battles in the struggles for your dreams than to be defeated without ever knowing what you’re fighting for.”
–Paulo Coelho (Brazilian Writer, 1947-)
“Every human life had its pattern that had to be worked out slowly to its ultimate conclusion.”
–Irving Stone (American Writer, 1903-1989)
“Man has come here with a definite purpose. Life is not meant merely for eating drinking and procreating.”
–Sri Swami Sivananda (Indian Physician and Spiritual Teacher, 1887-1963)
“There are no mistakes, no coincidences. All events are blessings given to us to learn from.”
–Elisabeth Kübler-Ross (Swiss-born American Psychologist, 1926-2004)
“You cannot discover the purpose of life by asking someone else – the only way you’ll ever get the right answer is by asking yourself.”
–Terri Guillemets (American Writer, 1973-)
“You have a purpose only as long as you are not complete; until then, completeness, perfection, is the purpose. But when you are complete in yourself, fully integrated within and without, then you enjoy the Universe; you do not labor at it.”
–Sri Nisargadatta Maharaj (Indian Spiritual Teacher and Exponent of Jnana Yoga and Advaita Doctrine, 1897-1981)
The Quest for Meaning
Yesterday I had the privilege of doing an interview with Michael Dresser on HealthRadio.Net. If you have not yet discovered them, I highly recommend the organization. I have put a link to them in the “Shared Visions” section on the left hand side of this blog. If you have any interest in health, there are a huge number of extremely interesting shows and free podcasts.
Having done radio and TV shows in around twenty countries, I can tell you that interviewers come in all shapes and sizes! Michael was very good: quick on the uptake and clearly committed to improving the welfare of his listeners. We did not agree on everything, but an interview where both people stroke each other, is not going to be much help to anyone!
Michael started by saying that the topic of Healing, Meaning and Purpose could easily have filled a three-hour show and he was right. After all, it took me 35 years to write that book. Well, getting it down on paper took eight weeks, but it had taken years of experiment and experience, and the input of thousands of people to get it right.
We decided to focus on meaning. A little tricky to do in 25 minutes, given that over a quarter of Healing, Meaning and Purpose is dedicated to the precise steps for discovering meaning in your life!
Michael expressed his concern about the large numbers of people who live without a feeling of meaning in their lives. And indeed there are huge numbers of people, particularly those who have lost their religious faith or who suffer from chronic illnesses, who find it very hard to find a sense of meaning in their lives.
Many reductionist writers and scientists don’t help when they tell us that we live in a dead, empty, meaningless Universe. They could not be more wrong!
Human beings are the consummate meaning generators in the Universe. Meaning provides context, and from context flows the real richness of life. Meaning fuels the alchemy that can transform an event into an experience. Parables and myths make deep meanings accessible.
The work of the Austrian psychiatrist and Holocaust survivor Viktor Frankl has quite rightly become popular in recent years. He observed that people in concentration camps who had a reason to survive did so. He felt that it was important for people to commit to meaningful goals and values, and to be constantly aware of the meaning in all things. He also emphasized the importance of extending ourselves, to becoming more than we are now. This is one definition of the transpersonal or spiritual domain. Frankl saw mental health as deriving from ultimate meaning, or spiritual values.
The real meaning of freedom is the ability to choose how you will react in response to any situation. You choose the way to think about a problem; you establish your point of view and your way of behaving. It saddens me that so many people whom I see function “on automatic:” They live in a world of habitual responses. As long as you are concerned about what others think and say, you are responding and will never be free. You can be different. So why is it that for so many people life seems to have no meaning?
The main reasons for this sorry state of affairs are disconnection, separation and alienation on the one hand, and being reactive rather than reflective. This can be disconnection and separation from ourselves, from each other, from the world, from understanding our place in the world or from our Higher Self. If we react out of habit and assumption we can really fail to smell the roses. The problem of meaninglessness was never so serious when everyone knew exactly what they were supposed to be doing and they had a clear set of duties and responsibilities.
For many of us our life story has become garbled and inconsistent. Sometimes the simple act of re-writing our life stories can help enormously. In the CDs and the last book I talk a lot about how to do that.
In recent years many people have started talking about “Diseases of Meaning,” a term that was, I think, first introduced by my old friend Kim Jobst.
Most of us think of health and disease as a dichotomy, as two sharply different states. But in reality, health and disease are part of a duality of healthy functioning. As with the other dualities that we have looked at, each contains the other, each is necessary for the other, and each gives rise to the other. Disease is a healthy response of an organism striving to maintain its equilibrium in the face of disruptive forces, like negative thoughts, unbalanced relationships, environmental toxins, poor nutrition, and so on. Disease can initiate a process of transformation; it has meaning. And instead of being brought low by a feeling of powerlessness, this realization can help people become stronger, to live more fully and with more understanding. This way of looking at disease can be applied to any of the chronic illnesses, and even to environmental problems like community violence. Understanding a disease for what it is can be empowering, and even transformative.
Sometimes people who feel meaningless do need professional help and there are forms of therapy designed to help us find meaning. And sometimes the sense of meaninglessness is actually a symptom of an illness such as depression.
But for people who just need to clarify and feel the meaning in their lives there are sets of techniques that we have been using for over twenty years. Here are a few that are all rooted in empirical scientific studies:
- Writing and re-writing your own life story
- Questioning your assumptions about life and about relationships
- Using a brief pause before reacting to anything that happens to you
- Creating meaning through making decisions about your life
- Developing a sense of coherence
- Forming and strengthening relationships
- Techniques for giving people a glimpse of a transcendent reality
- Developing a legacy
It turns out that Michael Dresser and I had another thing in common. He also eradicated a very serious illness using an early form of Integrated Medicine. For both of us, the experience was highly meaningful and gave us a new and sharper focus: to show other people how to care for themselves and their families and how to enhance the quality of their lives.
We are both walking the talk.
“The least of things with a meaning is worth more in life than the greatest of things without it.”
–Carl G. Jung (Swiss Psychologist and Psychiatrist, 1875-1961)
“Deep within himself man seeks meaning for his life, and tries to fulfill himself in accordance with that meaning.”
–Viktor Frankl (Austrian Psychiatrist, 1905-1997)
“When we understand that man is the only animal who must create meaning, who must open a wedge into neutral nature, we already understand the essence of love. Love is the problem of an animal who must find life, create a dialogue with nature in order to experience his own being.”
–Ernest Becker (Canadian Cultural Anthropologist and Interdisciplinary Thinker, 1925-1974)
“So many people walk around with a meaningless life. They seem half-asleep, even when they’re busy doing things they think are important. This is because they’re chasing the wrong things. The way you get meaning into your life is to devote yourself to loving others, devote yourself to your community around you, and devote yourself to creating something that gives you purpose and meaning.”
–Morrie Schwartz (American Educator and the subject of the book Tuesdays With Morrie, 1916-1995
“Any important disease whose causality is murky, and for which treatment is ineffectual, tends to be awash in significance.”
–Susan Sontag (American Essayist, 1933-2004)
“What truly gives life meaning is to work with the light and for the light, without worrying about pleasing or displeasing others.”
–Omraam Mikhaël Aïvanhov (Bulgarian Spiritual Master, 1900-1986)
50 Tools for Better Writing
After decades as passive consumers we are becoming a community of writers.
I read quite a lot and I have found some excellent writing on the Internet.
I’d like to give a plug to the Poynter Institute. Though designed to help journalists, they give our loads of excellent advice that we can all use.
Roy Peter Clark from the Institute has posted 50 tools that can help you when you do any kinds of writing.
Alhtough each of us wiull find some more useful than others, I hope that you will find many of them to be valuable and interesting.
Links of 50 Writing Tool
- Writing Tool #1: Branch to the Right
- Writing Tool #2: Use Strong Verbs
- Writing Tool #3: Beware of Adverbs
- Writing Tool #4: Period As a Stop Sign
- Writing Tool #5: Observe Word Territory
- Writing Tool #6: Play with Words
- Writing Tool #7: Dig for the Concrete and Specific
- Writing Tool #8: Seek Original Images
- Writing Tool #9: Prefer Simple to Technical
- Writing Tool #10: Recognize Your Story’s Roots
- Writing Tool #11 Back Off or Show Off
- Writing Tool #12: Control the Pace
- Writing Tool #13: Show and Tell
- Writing Tool #14: Interesting Names
- Writing Tool #15: Reveal Character Traits
- Writing Tool #16: Odd and Interesting Things
- Writing Tool #17: The Number of Elements
- Writing Tool #18: Internal Cliffhangers
- Writing Tool #19: Tune Your Voice
- Writing Tool #20: Narrative Opportunities
- Writing Tool #21: Quotes and Dialogue
- Writing Tool #22: Get Ready
- Writing Tool #23: Place Gold Coins Along the Path
- Writing Tool #24: Name the Big Parts
- Writing Tool #25: Repeat
- Writing Tool #26: Fear Not the Long Sentence
- Writing Tool #27: Riffing for Originality
- Writing Tool #28: Writing Cinematically
- Writing Tool #29: Report for Scenes
- Writing Tool #30: Write Endings to Lock the Box
- Writing Tool #31: Parallel Lines
- Writing Tool #32: Let It Flow
- Writing Tool #33: Rehearsal
- Writing Tool #34: Cut Big, Then Small
- Writing Tool #35: Use Punctuation
- Writing Tool #36: Write A Mission Statement for Your Story
- Writing Tool #37: Long Projects
- Writing Tool #38: Polish Your Jewels
- Writing Tool #39: The Voice of Verbs
- Writing Tool #40: The Broken Line
- Writing Tool #41: X-Ray Reading
- Writing Tool #42: Paragraphs
- Writing Tool #43: Self-criticism
- Writing Tool #44: Save String
- Writing Tool #45: Foreshadow
- Writing Tool #46: Storytellers, Start Your Engines
- Writing Tool #47: Collaboration
- Writing Tool #48: Create An Editing Support Group
- Writing Tool #49: Learn from Criticism
- Writing Tool #50: The Writing Process