Richard G. Petty, MD

Saturday Satire

Most people seem to know that I am a cheer leader for virtually all things Apple. I’m on about my fifteenth Macintosh and I have no idea how many iPods we have. And the thought of the up-coming iPhone has me palpitating with desire. I’ve been lovingly poring over it’s specs and I know that I’m going to be at the front of the line when it comes out in June.

But I just had a mega snigger when I saw this from the Borowitz Report:

Apple Recalls iPhone; Forgot to Include ‘Phone’ Feature

Jobs: Oops

what could prove to be the most embarrassing misstep in consumer
electronics history, Apple Inc. announced today that it would recall
its entire production run of the Apple iPhone after discovering that it
had failed to include a “phone” feature in the much-hyped handheld

Speaking from Apple corporate headquarters, company
founder Steve Jobs offered consumers his apology for the monumental
goof and seemed to be searching for an explanation for how it could
have occurred.

“First and foremost, we’re sorry,” a red-faced
Mr. Jobs said in a conference call with Wall Street analysts. “When you
make a product called the iPhone, people expect it to include a phone,
and we messed that part up.”

Mr. Jobs suggested that Apple had
been so focused on making the iPhone the “coolest handheld device ever”
that it had forgotten to include one of the most important features of
any cellular phone: “One thing people like about cell phones is that
you can dial numbers into them and call people.”

Instead, he
explained, Apple’s engineers had crammed the iPhone with a plethora of
what he called “non-phonal features,” such as a camera, an MP3 player,
a taser, and a tactical nuclear weapon.

While Mr. Jobs said that
almost all of the nine million iPhones that had been shipped to stores
were on their way back to Apple’s manufacturing plant, he offered
advice to consumers who somehow had already obtained the phoneless
iPhone: “Just hold it up to your head and pretend to be talking into

Elsewhere, the Fish and Wildlife Service said that it would remove wolves from the endangered species list and add Republicans.

About Richard G. Petty, MD
Dr. Richard G. Petty, MD is a world-renowned authority on the brain, and his revolutionary work on human energy systems has been acclaimed around the globe. He is also an accredited specialist in internal and metabolic medicine, endocrinology, psychiatry, acupuncture and homeopathy. He has been an innovator and leader of the human potential movement for over thirty years and is also an active researcher, teacher, writer, professional speaker and broadcaster. He is the author of five books, including the groundbreaking and best selling CD series Healing, Meaning and Purpose. He has taught in over 45 countries and 48 states in the last ten years, but spends as much time as possible on his horse farm in Georgia.

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